The Final day!! (Kind of..)

Morning thoughts: My thoughts on the morning of the final day of Kamana
I really never expected that it was possible to learn SO much in just two short weeks. Although this is the last day of Kamana One according to the book, its really only the beginning of my journey. ( I never really did like goodbyes). I want to challenge myself to be able to do these exercises everyday of my life. If anything Kamana has taught me two core lessons. One is that nature IS all around you and two is that every one of us has the ability to awaken ourselves to do these types of exercises throughout the day. These exercises can be accomplished by anyone, not just the 85 year old field naturalist. All of  these exercises are completely natural for us, its just taking the time to unlearn how you normally perceive the world. I think one of the most challenging things about Kamana is the feeling that you don't have enough time during your busy day. The key is finding a way to be able to be fully in tune with your awareness, even in a 200 person lecture hall about 17th Century Art. It is quite the challenge, and something that I hope I will be able to say I can do eventually. These past two weeks have kind of made me feel like, I was living in a fast paced video game, just going through the motions, seeing what I wanted to see, hearing what I wanted to hear and then BAM, the WHOLE world was in front of me. Kamana has made me feel like I'm  seeing through a different pair of eyes. Each day I woke up around 7, ready to hear, smell, feel, listen and so excited to be ALIVE. That each day there is something new to learn, and the more I know, the more I find I don't know. If anything, I feel like I have so many questions and am so far from the answer(s). I am by no means saying Kamana wasn't completely overwhelming, because I really felt so behind in some of these skills, but I liked the challenge and eventually realized that I don't need to rush my way through these exercises, that everything takes its time.

It's funny, the raw feeling you get, when you finally feel like you are becoming the person you were meant to be. Thinking about all the people, places and things that have shifted your thinking, perception and awareness, leading you kindly to the right path.

Day 11 "Ears, Skin, Nose"

I had to take a few days off from doing Kamana due to being sick over the weekend.
Todays exercise are going to put me in tune with me senses. I am going to have ears like a deer, the skin of a baby, nose of a bear, and the power of the wolf (who use all of their senses simultaneously). Today I am going to spend three separate times outside (15 minutes minimum) and try to engage one of these senses, then slowly combining them. The goal is to be able to do so while walking and moving around.

2pm- These exercises are harder than I thought when I first read it this morning. I am having a really hard time concentrating and trying hard to become in tune. The first thing I tried was to practice ears like a deer. Deer have amazing hearing ability and take in "the whole field of sound". This is what I tried to do outside in my backyard. I found myself focusing more on the thoughts in my head than actual sounds. It was also really difficult to not focus hearing on wear loud sounds were coming from. I found myself shifting my hearing directly to the place where it was coming from and not taking in all the sounds as a whole. I tried closing my eyes and this helped a little but with focusing but I still felt as though I wasn't completely getting in tune with "deer hearing". Maybe I need to give myself more time in order to focus my mind and body on only taking in sounds. I stayed outside for about 20 minutes and just didn't feel like I accomplished what this exercise wanted me too.

After doing ears like a deer, I tried to focus on the sensations of my skin (like a baby). I found this to be a bit easier than the deer exercise. I closed my eyes again and tried to sit as still as possible. I found I was noticing the breeze upon my skin but after a while I started focusing on the breeze shifting every piece of hair on my body and I could feel the goose bumps starting to raise. I tried to focus on how the breeze shifted and how this felt differently each time. I was imaging having fur like deer, and how the breeze would feel shifting their fur and how it would feel differently than mine.

Todays exercise reminded my of one of my favorite quotes by Walt Whitman.
"Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, re-examine all you have been told in school or church or in any book, and dismiss whatever insults your own soul; your very flesh shall be a great poem, and have the richest fluency, not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face, and between the lashes of your eyes, and in every motion and joint of your body."

Day 10 "Stealth"

I have never noticed my foot steps, often times I walk in the woods in my "normal walk" not really paying special attention to the carefulness of each step. This morning opened with a story about stealth. They logo for Wilderness Awareness school is the red fox "gazing at you with soft eyes- unalarmed, unconcerned, simply aware of your presence". Native people tell their children that they should walk as if they were walking on the face of their most revered elder. As I walked into Centennial woods this afternoon I paid especial attention to the way I was moving. Whenever I found myself walking too fast or too loudly, I made sure to stop, pause, look around and continue back to my "fox walk". Today as a paid special attention to my footing I found my self looking to the ground even more! Looking to the ground makes you unaware of your surroundings, I was so set on finding a set of tracks and trying to identify them that I was only looking to the ground. I tried to picture myself as animals would see me and still felt I was not walking stealthily enough, that was until I noticed a runners footsteps. Comparing the sounds of his foot steps to mine, I really was walking a lot more quietly. Although I think this is a skill I will need to keep practicing, I think I will only improve. Whenever I heard my trigger today, it reminded me to keep my mind from wandering, to slow my foot steps and to really pause and look around. Its amazing what you notice when you really let yourself fully relax, and be present in the moment, taking all of your thoughts and letting them drift away with the breeze.

When did you choose to be consciously decide to be stealthy today?

I was reminded by the chickadees how loud my footsteps actually were..hearing their calls that I was walking throughout the woods really made my aware of each stick snapping, leaf crunching and puddle splashing made be my feet.

Did the effort to be stealthy make you feel like predator or prey?

I definitely felt more like a predator. I tried to picture myself as a red fox walking through these woods, hungry from a long winter. Walking slower, made me more aware of the things around me.

Day 9 "Notice the way you walk"

Today I was asked to concentrate on the way I walk. To try to imagine myself as other animals would see me, to take a look through their eyes. How do I sit? How do I stand? After I felt I got myself in tune with my natural walk, and how I looked to others, it was time for me to become an Owl. I thought that was kinda of funny and may get some weird looks from my roommates but I was asked to pick a spot and perch like an owl. I chose a chair in the corner of the house which I considered to be "dead space", a place where not a lot of people look. It took me awhile to get into the mode of an owl, but once I let myself relax I tried to observe things like an owl would. I tried to notice the room as whole, zooming my eyes all the way out and than tried to focus on one thing in full detail. It was an interesting experience to say the least.

Evening Reflection: Giving thanks to the moon

Reading in Kamana tonight says that the Iroquois people say the Moon "holds hands with all of the waters, pulling tides in their daily and monthly cycles". Tonight was the first night I made a bonfire outside in my back yard. I could not see the moon tonight because of the passing clouds but it is always there. One of the most thankful moments I have ever had with the Moon is laying on the beach in Hatteras, NC. Every night we make a bonfire on the beach and sit back to look at the stars. The moon is so clear and dances on the ocean waters. I have never felt so completely whole as I do when I'm looking up a the moon on those beaches. It seems everything is in place.

Tonight I practiced "Fox Walking"

The whole idea is to relax, and step as if you are about to place your foot on something sharp, not allowing all of your weight go down on your foot. You do not step far from your other foot, but keep them aligned, every move is careful and gentle. The whole idea is to be able to walk with complete silence. The walking exercise really helped me with getting in tune for the fox walk. Each step I imagined a had eyes on the bottom of my foot that made sure nothing was underneath my next move. I think fox moving is on of the most fun skills to practice. I have never really thought about the way I walk in the world other than today, and now I feel more aware of it. Its fun to challenge yourself and really get in tune with how others move in the world. While I was fox walking in my backyard tonight, I noticed a possum scurrying through the leaves. I wondered why a possum walked so loudly and didn't move as stealthy as a fox? It was fun to compare my fox like foot steps with the messy, scurrying foot steps of the possum.

Day eight Owl Eyes pt 2

The sound the I wrote about below (hard to describe but kind of had a piercing torpido sound) is the song of the Northern Cardinal! How silly was I to think it was so rare..haha. The only reason I was able to figure this out was because one, I've been seeing a lot of round robins and northern cardinals in the trees outside my backyard, so I searched on The Cornell Lab of Ornithology and low and behold the Cardinals call matched!!

Heres a link to hear it...

http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/id

Today I am trying to literally pretend I am an owl. Whenever I find myself focusing too much on something, I must try to zoom out as an owl does and see the whole picture. We'll see how this goes, I am spending five hours in the woods today and will report back tonight on my findings.

I have to report back in because I just had the best experience. I was playing around with the Cornells Lab of Ornithology and kept playing back the black capped chickadees call. All of a sudden a little chickadee was calling back to the sound I was playing. It was so awesome to see its little throat swell up and release this cute little song back. Each time I played the sounds the chickadee got closer and closer to me. It was such an awesome experience, but I think I really confused him each time he looks up and released it was no a fellow chickadee calling back!

Night Reflection: Giving thanks to the weather

This April has been full of more beautiful days then rainy. Even when the rain falls it is nice to take a break from the sun.

Day Seven ( Week one complete)

gray squirrel on the tree in my backyard

cardinal outside my window

8am- I step outside to feel the warm spring breeze upon my skin. I notice a pair of robins washing themselves in the storm gutter attached to my house. I can see the splash of water as they shake and wiggle their feathers. This moment brings me back to the challenge of noticing nature all around me at all times, I have never seen a robin wash its wings, or maybe I have but have never thought to look.

Todays challenge is to bring all the senses back that I once had as a baby. Its funny because this mornings story noted that some people while doing kamana find the exercise challenging ( like I had said in yesterdays post) and it would take a certain type of person in order to master them. Jon Young says it does not take a master because it is in all of us. It is a nature ability to connect to nature, in fact babies do it all the time. He opens this mornings story about his son. His son felt more comfortable outside than confined inside. He reaches for the cool breezes, squealed at the crows, and felt the grass as if it was the best thing he had ever felt. Todays challenge is to recall those baby senses, to break down the walls the society has built in order to disconnect us from nature and our natural way.

Evening Reflection..

Thanks to the birds,

Today was a special reminder of how much life birds bring into this world. I sat on my back porch and watched as a curious chickadee, landed closer and closer to me. It perched on a small table I have on my deck and just seemed to look at me, with the same wide eye curiousity I was looking at it with. I also awoke to a bird call I had never heard before. It sounded piercing and was unlike anything I had ever heard.. I would not even know where to start to describe how it sounded, but it kind of reminded me of a torpedo sound,very high pitched. I just want to give a big thanks to all the birds, who make the world sing, and brighten up my day.

Owl Eyes

This is an exercise to make you aware of your peripheral vision! The goal here is to act as if you are seeing like an owl. To imagine that you can only see straight ahead. The idea is to sit back and relax, to take in everything you are seeing in front of you as a scene.

I tried to do this exercise in my room but felt it was to small. I hope to practice this skill a little more tomorrow outside.

Day Six "Go a Different Way"

Go a different way than the way you came. This is the challenge for today. This could mean walking on the opposite side of the sidewalk, take a back road, or weave your way back. This morning I went on a run along the trails of the Intervale. It was challenging to do this exercise on the way back because usually there is only one paved way back. I decided to take my run back through the forest and fields. Its amazing what it opens your eyes up too. I noticed a small track in the mud, im guessing possibly a fox? This only encouraged me more and more to learn about tracks. The rest of my day was spent in downtown Burlington. It was a maze and I found myself weaving in and out of back alleys that I had never been down before. On Thursday on of my mentors at Crows Path named Zac introduced the idea of dead space. Dead space is essential space that is all around us but we rarely shift our eyes to notice it. He challenged us to look at the dead space and increase our awareness. As I walked through out Burlington I tried to find all of the places that I often over look.

Evening Session: giving thanks to the trees.

Trees offer me so much in life. A placed to hide, a place to relax away from the sun, provider of fresh air and make this world such a beautiful place. Today I am most grateful for White Pines. I recently found the perfect sit spot in which a reside under a great White Pine shaded from the sun. As I look up the trunk I am reminded of all the history of the land and wonder what types of things this trees has seen throughout its long life. Looking up at its trunk to the peak, I feel a sense of smallness wash over me. Trees also provide a home for so many animals. In a sense they really are staples of life and beauty.

Evening Reflection on the program thus far

I can't believe I have almost completed a week of this program. So far it has taught my to slow down, notice, and take note. Tonight I find myself a little discourage. I wonder why these things have not been taught to me as a staple of growing up? Why have we lost the connection to the land in our culture? Why is it not seen as a staple in life? I feel as though this last week has taught me so much. To start, it challenged me to look for the details. To notice the small green bug crawling up my coffee cup, to notice the ground in which I walk, to take a different way back. It has taught me to orientate myself with the directions at all times (something I have always struggled with). It has also taught me how to switch gears and view things in the birds eye view, the broader prospective. I am really enjoying this program but I am also feeling very challenged. I know I can't get down on myself for not knowing all the answers or how to exactly do a challenge of the day, I think this is the greatest lesson of all. If I already feel I have learned so much in this past week, I can only imagine how I will feel at the end. I feel as though something is shifting and clicking inside of me, and I feel more and more connected to myself and those around me. I am simply not just going through the motions of life, but living them, with intent.