The Final day!! (Kind of..)

Morning thoughts: My thoughts on the morning of the final day of Kamana
I really never expected that it was possible to learn SO much in just two short weeks. Although this is the last day of Kamana One according to the book, its really only the beginning of my journey. ( I never really did like goodbyes). I want to challenge myself to be able to do these exercises everyday of my life. If anything Kamana has taught me two core lessons. One is that nature IS all around you and two is that every one of us has the ability to awaken ourselves to do these types of exercises throughout the day. These exercises can be accomplished by anyone, not just the 85 year old field naturalist. All of  these exercises are completely natural for us, its just taking the time to unlearn how you normally perceive the world. I think one of the most challenging things about Kamana is the feeling that you don't have enough time during your busy day. The key is finding a way to be able to be fully in tune with your awareness, even in a 200 person lecture hall about 17th Century Art. It is quite the challenge, and something that I hope I will be able to say I can do eventually. These past two weeks have kind of made me feel like, I was living in a fast paced video game, just going through the motions, seeing what I wanted to see, hearing what I wanted to hear and then BAM, the WHOLE world was in front of me. Kamana has made me feel like I'm  seeing through a different pair of eyes. Each day I woke up around 7, ready to hear, smell, feel, listen and so excited to be ALIVE. That each day there is something new to learn, and the more I know, the more I find I don't know. If anything, I feel like I have so many questions and am so far from the answer(s). I am by no means saying Kamana wasn't completely overwhelming, because I really felt so behind in some of these skills, but I liked the challenge and eventually realized that I don't need to rush my way through these exercises, that everything takes its time.

It's funny, the raw feeling you get, when you finally feel like you are becoming the person you were meant to be. Thinking about all the people, places and things that have shifted your thinking, perception and awareness, leading you kindly to the right path.

Day 11 "Ears, Skin, Nose"

I had to take a few days off from doing Kamana due to being sick over the weekend.
Todays exercise are going to put me in tune with me senses. I am going to have ears like a deer, the skin of a baby, nose of a bear, and the power of the wolf (who use all of their senses simultaneously). Today I am going to spend three separate times outside (15 minutes minimum) and try to engage one of these senses, then slowly combining them. The goal is to be able to do so while walking and moving around.

2pm- These exercises are harder than I thought when I first read it this morning. I am having a really hard time concentrating and trying hard to become in tune. The first thing I tried was to practice ears like a deer. Deer have amazing hearing ability and take in "the whole field of sound". This is what I tried to do outside in my backyard. I found myself focusing more on the thoughts in my head than actual sounds. It was also really difficult to not focus hearing on wear loud sounds were coming from. I found myself shifting my hearing directly to the place where it was coming from and not taking in all the sounds as a whole. I tried closing my eyes and this helped a little but with focusing but I still felt as though I wasn't completely getting in tune with "deer hearing". Maybe I need to give myself more time in order to focus my mind and body on only taking in sounds. I stayed outside for about 20 minutes and just didn't feel like I accomplished what this exercise wanted me too.

After doing ears like a deer, I tried to focus on the sensations of my skin (like a baby). I found this to be a bit easier than the deer exercise. I closed my eyes again and tried to sit as still as possible. I found I was noticing the breeze upon my skin but after a while I started focusing on the breeze shifting every piece of hair on my body and I could feel the goose bumps starting to raise. I tried to focus on how the breeze shifted and how this felt differently each time. I was imaging having fur like deer, and how the breeze would feel shifting their fur and how it would feel differently than mine.

Todays exercise reminded my of one of my favorite quotes by Walt Whitman.
"Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, re-examine all you have been told in school or church or in any book, and dismiss whatever insults your own soul; your very flesh shall be a great poem, and have the richest fluency, not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face, and between the lashes of your eyes, and in every motion and joint of your body."

Day 10 "Stealth"

I have never noticed my foot steps, often times I walk in the woods in my "normal walk" not really paying special attention to the carefulness of each step. This morning opened with a story about stealth. They logo for Wilderness Awareness school is the red fox "gazing at you with soft eyes- unalarmed, unconcerned, simply aware of your presence". Native people tell their children that they should walk as if they were walking on the face of their most revered elder. As I walked into Centennial woods this afternoon I paid especial attention to the way I was moving. Whenever I found myself walking too fast or too loudly, I made sure to stop, pause, look around and continue back to my "fox walk". Today as a paid special attention to my footing I found my self looking to the ground even more! Looking to the ground makes you unaware of your surroundings, I was so set on finding a set of tracks and trying to identify them that I was only looking to the ground. I tried to picture myself as animals would see me and still felt I was not walking stealthily enough, that was until I noticed a runners footsteps. Comparing the sounds of his foot steps to mine, I really was walking a lot more quietly. Although I think this is a skill I will need to keep practicing, I think I will only improve. Whenever I heard my trigger today, it reminded me to keep my mind from wandering, to slow my foot steps and to really pause and look around. Its amazing what you notice when you really let yourself fully relax, and be present in the moment, taking all of your thoughts and letting them drift away with the breeze.

When did you choose to be consciously decide to be stealthy today?

I was reminded by the chickadees how loud my footsteps actually were..hearing their calls that I was walking throughout the woods really made my aware of each stick snapping, leaf crunching and puddle splashing made be my feet.

Did the effort to be stealthy make you feel like predator or prey?

I definitely felt more like a predator. I tried to picture myself as a red fox walking through these woods, hungry from a long winter. Walking slower, made me more aware of the things around me.

Day 9 "Notice the way you walk"

Today I was asked to concentrate on the way I walk. To try to imagine myself as other animals would see me, to take a look through their eyes. How do I sit? How do I stand? After I felt I got myself in tune with my natural walk, and how I looked to others, it was time for me to become an Owl. I thought that was kinda of funny and may get some weird looks from my roommates but I was asked to pick a spot and perch like an owl. I chose a chair in the corner of the house which I considered to be "dead space", a place where not a lot of people look. It took me awhile to get into the mode of an owl, but once I let myself relax I tried to observe things like an owl would. I tried to notice the room as whole, zooming my eyes all the way out and than tried to focus on one thing in full detail. It was an interesting experience to say the least.

Evening Reflection: Giving thanks to the moon

Reading in Kamana tonight says that the Iroquois people say the Moon "holds hands with all of the waters, pulling tides in their daily and monthly cycles". Tonight was the first night I made a bonfire outside in my back yard. I could not see the moon tonight because of the passing clouds but it is always there. One of the most thankful moments I have ever had with the Moon is laying on the beach in Hatteras, NC. Every night we make a bonfire on the beach and sit back to look at the stars. The moon is so clear and dances on the ocean waters. I have never felt so completely whole as I do when I'm looking up a the moon on those beaches. It seems everything is in place.

Tonight I practiced "Fox Walking"

The whole idea is to relax, and step as if you are about to place your foot on something sharp, not allowing all of your weight go down on your foot. You do not step far from your other foot, but keep them aligned, every move is careful and gentle. The whole idea is to be able to walk with complete silence. The walking exercise really helped me with getting in tune for the fox walk. Each step I imagined a had eyes on the bottom of my foot that made sure nothing was underneath my next move. I think fox moving is on of the most fun skills to practice. I have never really thought about the way I walk in the world other than today, and now I feel more aware of it. Its fun to challenge yourself and really get in tune with how others move in the world. While I was fox walking in my backyard tonight, I noticed a possum scurrying through the leaves. I wondered why a possum walked so loudly and didn't move as stealthy as a fox? It was fun to compare my fox like foot steps with the messy, scurrying foot steps of the possum.

Day eight Owl Eyes pt 2

The sound the I wrote about below (hard to describe but kind of had a piercing torpido sound) is the song of the Northern Cardinal! How silly was I to think it was so rare..haha. The only reason I was able to figure this out was because one, I've been seeing a lot of round robins and northern cardinals in the trees outside my backyard, so I searched on The Cornell Lab of Ornithology and low and behold the Cardinals call matched!!

Heres a link to hear it...

http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/id

Today I am trying to literally pretend I am an owl. Whenever I find myself focusing too much on something, I must try to zoom out as an owl does and see the whole picture. We'll see how this goes, I am spending five hours in the woods today and will report back tonight on my findings.

I have to report back in because I just had the best experience. I was playing around with the Cornells Lab of Ornithology and kept playing back the black capped chickadees call. All of a sudden a little chickadee was calling back to the sound I was playing. It was so awesome to see its little throat swell up and release this cute little song back. Each time I played the sounds the chickadee got closer and closer to me. It was such an awesome experience, but I think I really confused him each time he looks up and released it was no a fellow chickadee calling back!

Night Reflection: Giving thanks to the weather

This April has been full of more beautiful days then rainy. Even when the rain falls it is nice to take a break from the sun.

Day Seven ( Week one complete)

gray squirrel on the tree in my backyard

cardinal outside my window

8am- I step outside to feel the warm spring breeze upon my skin. I notice a pair of robins washing themselves in the storm gutter attached to my house. I can see the splash of water as they shake and wiggle their feathers. This moment brings me back to the challenge of noticing nature all around me at all times, I have never seen a robin wash its wings, or maybe I have but have never thought to look.

Todays challenge is to bring all the senses back that I once had as a baby. Its funny because this mornings story noted that some people while doing kamana find the exercise challenging ( like I had said in yesterdays post) and it would take a certain type of person in order to master them. Jon Young says it does not take a master because it is in all of us. It is a nature ability to connect to nature, in fact babies do it all the time. He opens this mornings story about his son. His son felt more comfortable outside than confined inside. He reaches for the cool breezes, squealed at the crows, and felt the grass as if it was the best thing he had ever felt. Todays challenge is to recall those baby senses, to break down the walls the society has built in order to disconnect us from nature and our natural way.

Evening Reflection..

Thanks to the birds,

Today was a special reminder of how much life birds bring into this world. I sat on my back porch and watched as a curious chickadee, landed closer and closer to me. It perched on a small table I have on my deck and just seemed to look at me, with the same wide eye curiousity I was looking at it with. I also awoke to a bird call I had never heard before. It sounded piercing and was unlike anything I had ever heard.. I would not even know where to start to describe how it sounded, but it kind of reminded me of a torpedo sound,very high pitched. I just want to give a big thanks to all the birds, who make the world sing, and brighten up my day.

Owl Eyes

This is an exercise to make you aware of your peripheral vision! The goal here is to act as if you are seeing like an owl. To imagine that you can only see straight ahead. The idea is to sit back and relax, to take in everything you are seeing in front of you as a scene.

I tried to do this exercise in my room but felt it was to small. I hope to practice this skill a little more tomorrow outside.

Day Six "Go a Different Way"

Go a different way than the way you came. This is the challenge for today. This could mean walking on the opposite side of the sidewalk, take a back road, or weave your way back. This morning I went on a run along the trails of the Intervale. It was challenging to do this exercise on the way back because usually there is only one paved way back. I decided to take my run back through the forest and fields. Its amazing what it opens your eyes up too. I noticed a small track in the mud, im guessing possibly a fox? This only encouraged me more and more to learn about tracks. The rest of my day was spent in downtown Burlington. It was a maze and I found myself weaving in and out of back alleys that I had never been down before. On Thursday on of my mentors at Crows Path named Zac introduced the idea of dead space. Dead space is essential space that is all around us but we rarely shift our eyes to notice it. He challenged us to look at the dead space and increase our awareness. As I walked through out Burlington I tried to find all of the places that I often over look.

Evening Session: giving thanks to the trees.

Trees offer me so much in life. A placed to hide, a place to relax away from the sun, provider of fresh air and make this world such a beautiful place. Today I am most grateful for White Pines. I recently found the perfect sit spot in which a reside under a great White Pine shaded from the sun. As I look up the trunk I am reminded of all the history of the land and wonder what types of things this trees has seen throughout its long life. Looking up at its trunk to the peak, I feel a sense of smallness wash over me. Trees also provide a home for so many animals. In a sense they really are staples of life and beauty.

Evening Reflection on the program thus far

I can't believe I have almost completed a week of this program. So far it has taught my to slow down, notice, and take note. Tonight I find myself a little discourage. I wonder why these things have not been taught to me as a staple of growing up? Why have we lost the connection to the land in our culture? Why is it not seen as a staple in life? I feel as though this last week has taught me so much. To start, it challenged me to look for the details. To notice the small green bug crawling up my coffee cup, to notice the ground in which I walk, to take a different way back. It has taught me to orientate myself with the directions at all times (something I have always struggled with). It has also taught me how to switch gears and view things in the birds eye view, the broader prospective. I am really enjoying this program but I am also feeling very challenged. I know I can't get down on myself for not knowing all the answers or how to exactly do a challenge of the day, I think this is the greatest lesson of all. If I already feel I have learned so much in this past week, I can only imagine how I will feel at the end. I feel as though something is shifting and clicking inside of me, and I feel more and more connected to myself and those around me. I am simply not just going through the motions of life, but living them, with intent.

Day Five

This morning I woke with a Northern Cardinal cleaning and fluffing its feathers on the tree outside my window. It seemed like it too had just gotten out of its morning bath and was drying itself in the warm spring sun.

The morning began with a story called "Lost Valley". The story was all about having a broader perspective and shifting my mind from detail orientated to a whole point of view.

mapping and close looking to detail. The story was about getting lost in the back country of Idaho. He had gotten lost and the only way he was able to lead the group back was studying and knowing the area in his mind. He had looked at the maps and studied the directions of certain landmarks.

Mental Mapping

For today whenever I am triggered I must make a mental note and locate myself on this map accourding to direction. "Think what way your are facing and what is facing you".

I have to nice landmarkers to orientate my direction, the green mountains and Lake Champlain. I found myself trying to constantly ask "Okay, what direction are you doing in?" Walking towards campus from my house on north street meant I was walking South East. Walking home I would be going North. I found this exercise to be really challenging because I feel as though I have no sense of direction. Throughout the day I tried to keep tabs on what direction I was going.

Evening Reflect:

I found myself I little frustrated today. I really wanted to understand directions and where I was going but It was really hard to orientate myself. I also was trying to focus on my trigger, looking for detail and than zooming out and going for the broader perspective. I really direction is not something I will be able to grasp in one day but I was frustrated that I couldn't get it at first. I also wondered why I had never been taught this throughout my schooling and felt as though I was very behind compared to many people. What could be more important than knowing, really knowing the place in which you live?

I found I great "sit spot" on my evening run behind the intervale. It allowed me time to think about todays exercise and really reflect on the program so far.

Day Four

Thanksgiving to low growing plants.

Thanks to all the weeds, herbs, ferns and moses for you are the first signs of spring.

Without you out world would not be as colorful.

Thanks for all the food and healing power you provide. The cover and shelter, the nice soft mosey bed for all the little beings of this earth.

Talbots Game

Today quiz yourself on all your surroundings.

Ask yourself questions like

Which direction is the wind blowing from?

What color is the seat your sitting on?

What color eyes did the last person you talk to have?

Today I spent most of my time outside at Crows Path. I found myself trying to take in the landscape as a whole and than zoom in on something closer and closer. I stopped to notice the bark of a striped maple. It is really so distinct and its branches have small white notched stripes. The whole tree seemed as though it could be a piece of art work displayed at a museum. I stopped to examine a small path of grass on the ground and discovered for the first time a leaf that looked as if it could be a piece of a human brain. Its leaves flared out with lines squiggling in and out. I later found out this brain like leaf was called blood root and produces a beautiful white flower. Lying on my back, shaded by a big white pine. I tried to notice as the wind blew through the forest. Causing all the leaves to dance in the wind. I couldn't tell what direction the wind was blowing from but I was guessing north west?

Talbot Game:

I think it is important as a tracker to be constantly asking questions. This is why the game helped to located exactly what I as glazing over in my day to day life. This game helped me to focus on as much detail, constantly. Its amazing how much you can actually remember if you just allow your mind to do that remembering.

Day Three

730 am

The morning came with a story, one close to home. It opened with a story about a man who worked at 30th street station in Philadelphia. He worked serving coffee and noticed how little people stopped to make eye contact with him let alone say thank you or have a nice day. (He made sure to remember that ones that did). Anyway the story concluded with his father meeting a CIA agent who worked at that same 30th street market place and could recall his sons hair color, scars, gap between his teeth and that he wore moccasins to work.. the point was he noticed every single detail.

The challenge for today was notice the detail IN the detail. To really challenge myself to notice things very carefully.

I have a garden plot in the back of my yard. I myself have not planted anything myself yet but a previous family had. I found myself zooming in on the tiny roots of weeds taken hold in the garden. The roots squirmed in and out of the soil, spreading across the garden bed. An earn worm wrinkled in the dirt. Its body inching deeper and deeper into the soil. I noticed every line helping the earth worm dig, each line moving further along.

Moving away from the garden was a big oak tree. I noticed as the sun light danced off of its branches and the sun moved, time advancing. I noticed the curves and uniqueness of each branch.

10pm An evening thanks to all the waters of the earth.

Water has always made me feel at home.

I still think my first love was the ocean.

Its ebb and flow calms me. It has taught me to deeply respect nature, for it is a force stronger than we can control and one must never believe they can conquer it.

A river flowing over rocks has over brought me a sense of life and movement. It keeps flowing down, endlessly.

A lake has always make me feel at peace. The stillness washes a calm over me.

Without clean water the world would not be.

Water, is like the heart of the whole world,

pumping,

flowing,and

breathing life into each and every living thing.

Day two

A tiny water droplet found on my walk today.

10 am

Thanksgiving Address- is a way to stop,think about, and thank the things that support our life in this universe. Make a few notes that express your gratitude for all of the people in your life.

This morning I am thankful for meeting such amazing friends up North. Relationships with others is the key to life and happiness. I am just really happy this morning to be able to finally say I am completely comfortable with living away from home, in Vermont, and finally feeling a sense of home away from home. I am so very thankful to be able to share my Thursdays with such amazing and inspiring people and children. I am also thankful to attend a University that I feel encourages passion instead of grades, and am happy to go to class every week knowing people want to be there and learn.

The second day started with a story called "New Brunswick Gray Fox". It talked about how people often search for wilderness, in quite places far off in the forest but in fact wilderness is all around at all times.

The challenge today is called looking for life. To look for life throughout my day : birds, trees, mammals, insects,plants, etc.

!0:15 PM Night Reflection

A time to calm the mind and the senses.

"Find in your heart things about the earth that you are really grateful for"

Today I am grateful for every little rain drop that slid down my jacket and onto the soil. Every drop reminded me of the replenishing nature of spring, seeping into the soil to nourish and revive all living things.

Map the signs of new life found today.

Did your trigger work? are you happy with the one you chose?

My trigger today was bird sounds. I think it really allowed me to tune into my sense and even more into all the wonderful sounds I was hearing walking to and from campus. Its amazing to tune out the cars flying by and actually be able to notice so many more sounds around you. Usually I would walk to class with headphones in but today I found I didn't even miss the music because I was actually listening to what was going on around me.

Did you find/see new signs of life that you didn't notice before?

Today I was noticing many of the birds that settle in the trees just outside my back yard. In the morning when I woke up around 7 am it was almost if those birds were my natural alarm clock. I counted about 5 different calls ( I think). I also noticed the trees on campus were starting to bloom and tried to determine how many different species I walked by.

Did you find yourself moving more slowly today?

I felt like the day moved slowly and calmly. It seemed that along with my sense my productivity also increased. Instead of putting in my headphones to go where ever I walked, I walked slowly trying to really listen and notice. I had no feelings of being rushed through out the day and enjoyed allowing myself to take the time to stop, listen, pause and reflect. This is only the second day of using a "trigger" to call myself into consciousness and I can only hope it will become easier and easier to do with such a busy lifestyle.

I was really inspired by the morning story about finding nature all around you. Growing up outside a Philadelphia suburb I always felt that I wasn't actually in nature. I spent most of my days outside but never really thought of it as being surrounded by the wild. The story about the gray fox tracks and shifting ones awareness to everything around you really opened up my eyes to see that nature is just outside my door.

The Kamana Path: Day One

Magnetic North

Today is the first day starting Kamana One A Naturalist Training Program. I have created this blog to update my thoughts, drawling,pictures as I travel this two-four week journey.

The strategy to taking this course is to become like a child. Kamana asks that we " empty our cup" and look at this experience anew. I read the first assignment of the day around 7:15 this morning. I was feeling really excited to start this program and couldn't wait to jump into the adventure. Upon starting this program I was weary about how technology is affecting my ability to deeply connect. I am constantly distracted by the technological world around me, finding myself tuning out my surroundings. This has been a constant thought throughout the past weeks. How can one truly escape technology? Is it possible? I will admit it, I currently have a face book and twitter account. It's nice to connect to people while being away from home, but is it really connection? With this being said, I've decided to challenge myself and disconnect from technology while doing this program.

The first assignment of the day was to find a "trigger" for myself to remind my brain to wake up my consciousness to the game for the day. This is a call to put all my senses on alert. So I decided that my trigger would be every time I walked through a door.. (It should be something that happens at least 10 times a day). And while in the woods every time I heard a bird call or song.

7:15 the day started off with a pop quiz. I am a little embarrassed, I hardly knew any of these answers, but that is why I embarked on this journey to begin with, not to know all the answers, but to be able to ask the right questions.

1. Where does the water in your house come from and go to? When you turn on the faucet to see the water, was that same water yesterday? Last week? Last month? When it goes down the drain where does it go? Where does it go after that?

I am not so sure. The first thing that comes to mind is that one I feel I have two homes, one in Burlington VT and one in Philadelphia PA. So in this case I am going to answer the questions for Vermont. The first thing that comes to mind is Lake Champlain. I think the water comes from the mountain melt and then empties back into the lake. I am not sure if it is the same water every morning.

2.Draw a little arrow on this page that points true North from where you sit and tell me, briefly the difference between magnetic North and true North and how that applies to you.

I have no idea the difference between magnetic north and true north. In fact I think i have the worst sense of direction. Here is a sketch of what I am guessing is "True North"

3.What plant closest to your front door

I live off a residential street. I think the closet plant to my front door would be some sort of scrub (something planted there intentionally).

4.Write what you remember of the last sentence on the previous page.

I cant recall the last sentence but I know the general idea was remembering to trigger myself into consciousness at least 15 times a day.

5. Name two types of poisonous spiders in your area.

no idea, very interested in knowing.

6. Why are tree your best friend in a wilderness survival situation? Name two common trees in your area.

I think trees are your best friend because they can serves as shelter and protection. Two common trees are the Sugar Maple and Beech.

7. Draw and arrow that points to the closest moving water from your home.

8. Draw the phase of the moon today

9.Name two birds that look like an American Robin. What are key differences between them?

10. Name two mammals that look for food within 30 meters from your home.

Gray squirrel and skunk?

Challenge for the day

Take time to look around you all day. Pay special attention to things that are grabbing your attention, natural or not.

Today I was lucky enough to spend most of my day in the woods. While on campus though, I found myself paying attention to peoples eye contact with one another. The passing of a stranger, the passing of a familiar face and how this eye contact varied. While in woods I found myself attracted to the smaller details. Instead of looking at the forest as a whole I really tried to zoom in on the things one would often times over look. It was a gloomy, hazy day with temperatures in the mid 40s. I found myself attracted to the pops of color hidden through out the woods. I studied a Red Maple bud for 15 minutes. It literally looked like it could burst any second with all the beautiful colors of spring. It felt like it had captured all my emotions about shifting seasons into this tiny red and green bud. I found myself zoomed into the small things because of a book read a few weeks ago called "The Other Way to Listen". The childrens book encourages on not to start with a whole forest or a whole ocean but one wave wash, one seed pod, one leaf. This made me want to focus on the small things that I often over look. I also found my self zooming out and looking at the landscape as a whole. The sky was so beautiful against the early shades of green grass of the spring.

I am really thankful today for photography. It has become a great passion and learning tool.

I am constantly inspired by the landscape.